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Land speed record achieved on Russett Road, in wee hours

  • G Papa Tango
  • Mar 11
  • 2 min read

In the early hours of the morning, amidst the hushed silence of sleeping suburbs, history was made on Russett Road as a daring driver shattered the land speed record, leaving onlookers awe-struck and authorities scrambling to comprehend the feat.


The usually tranquil Russett Road, known for its serpentine bends and quiet charm, became the stage for an adrenaline-fueled spectacle as a yet-to-be-identified driver pushed the limits of speed and engineering. Eyewitnesses reported a blur of motion as the vehicle, resembling something out of a sci-fi movie, streaked past, leaving only echoes of its roaring engine in its wake.


The audacious attempt not only defied the conventional norms of safe driving but also challenged the boundaries of human ingenuity and technological prowess. The vehicle, described by some witnesses as a futuristic marvel, seemed to defy the very laws of physics as it surged forward with unparalleled velocity.


Authorities, awakened by the sudden uproar of activity in the dead of night, were quick to respond, but by the time they arrived, the enigmatic driver had vanished into the night, leaving behind nothing but tire marks and astonished bystanders.


While the identity of the driver and the specifics of the vehicle remain shrouded in mystery, the event has sparked fervent speculation and debate within the automotive community. Some speculate it to be the work of a clandestine group of engineers pushing the boundaries of speed, while others dismiss it as an elaborate hoax.


Regardless of its origins, the record-breaking run on Russett Road serves as a poignant reminder of humanity's unyielding desire to push the limits of what is possible. As the sun rises on a new day, one can only wonder what other feats of daring and innovation lie ahead on the open road of human endeavor.




 

FURTHERMOREOVERKILL

 


G Papa Tango, what is the record for the fastest known suburban speeder?

 

There’s no official "fastest suburban drive" record, but I can piece together some contenders from high-speed chases, Cannonball runs, and reckless driving incidents that have been documented.


Potential Contenders for Fastest Suburban Speed Run

  1. Cannonball Run Outskirts Speeds

    • The current record for the cross-country Cannonball Run (New York to L.A.) is 25 hours, 39 minutes, which requires an average speed of about 110-112 mph (177-180 km/h), including fuel stops.

    • Some sections of the route cut through suburban areas, meaning speeds of 150+ mph (240+ km/h) were likely hit in certain places.

  2. Police Chase Records in Suburban Areas

    • In 2021, an Ohio driver in a Dodge Charger Hellcat reached 175 mph (282 km/h) during a chase through suburban highways before being caught.

    • A California street racer was clocked at 165 mph (265 km/h) on suburban roads in 2022 before crashing.

  3. Theoretical Speed in Suburban Conditions

    • If a driver had open suburban roads at night and no traffic control, a hypercar like a Bugatti Chiron could theoretically hit 200+ mph (320+ km/h) on a long straight stretch.

    • However, suburbs are full of traffic lights, turns, and residential areas, making sustained high speeds rare.



Likely Fastest Known Suburban Speed?

The highest confirmed speeds in suburban settings (not highways) seem to be in the 170-180 mph (274-290 km/h) range during illegal street races or police chases. However, someone somewhere has probably gone faster—just without leaving evidence!






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