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From the WPP archives: Grade 11 Cawthra Park student able to disappear behind teeny Zoom mute button failing physics

  • G Papa Tango
  • Mar 5
  • 3 min read

Updated: Mar 5


In a baffling turn of events, local teenager Tyler Phillips has achieved what renowned physicists have been striving for decades: mastering the art of invisibility. However, there's a catch—Phillips isn't exactly donning an invisibility cloak straight out of Hogwarts. Instead, his newfound talent seems to be deeply entangled with the teeny tiny mute button on his Zoom interface.


Phillips, a student at Cawthra Park Secondary School, stumbled upon this groundbreaking phenomenon during his virtual physics class. While his peers were grappling with the intricacies of Newton's laws, Tyler found himself in a rather peculiar situation: his video feed was nowhere to be seen, his audio muted, and his presence virtually undetectable.


"At first, I thought it was just a glitch," Phillips explained. "But then I realized, with great power comes great irresponsibility."


While his physics grade may be plummeting faster than a brick in a vacuum, Phillips has inadvertently become a subject of fascination among both his classmates and the scientific community at large. Physicists around the globe are scrambling to decipher the enigma behind Phillips' disappearing act, with some suggesting that his mastery over the mute button might hold the key to unlocking the mysteries of quantum mechanics.


Dr. Emily Chang, a quantum physicist at MIT, expressed her astonishment at Phillips' peculiar talent. "We've spent years building particle accelerators and conducting complex experiments, all in pursuit of understanding the fundamental nature of reality. And here we have a high school student achieving what we could only dream of, with nothing more than a laptop and a stable internet connection."



As Phillips continues to navigate the perplexing realm of Zoom-based education, one thing remains clear: while his grasp on physics may be slipping through the cracks, his ability to vanish into the digital ether is truly out of this world.


Meanwhile, rumors abound that Phillips is considering a career in magic, with renowned illusionists clamoring to recruit him as their apprentice. After all, who needs to understand the laws of physics when you can simply make yourself disappear with the click of a button?



 

FURTHERMOREOVERKILL

 


G Papa Tango, please provide a transcript of a Covid lockdown-era of an exasperated science teacher attempting to get a particularly quiet student to participate more (and to turn off their mute button).

 

[The scene remains in the virtual classroom during the COVID lockdown era. Ms. Smith, the teacher, is leading a science class via video conference. Most students have their cameras on, but one student, Alex, has kept their camera off and mute button on throughout the class.]


Ms. Smith: Alright, class, let's move on to our discussion about ecosystems. It's crucial to understand how different factors interact to sustain life in various environments. Now, who would like to share an example of a symbiotic relationship in an ecosystem?


[There's a moment of silence as Ms. Smith scans the virtual classroom, noticing Alex's muted icon still illuminated.]


Ms. Smith: Alex, you've been quite silent today. Can you unmute yourself and contribute to our discussion? We'd love to hear from you.



[No response from Alex. Ms. Smith's patience begins to wear thin, evident in her tone.]


Ms. Smith: Alex, I'm not sure if you're aware, but active participation is essential for your learning and the class's progress. Please unmute yourself and share your thoughts.


[Alex's muted icon blinks, but there's no indication of him unmuting.]


Ms. Smith: Alex, this isn't the first time I've asked you to participate. It's frustrating to see you constantly disengaged. Do you have anything to contribute to our discussion, or are you just going to continue ignoring the class?


[Alex's camera remains off, and Ms. Smith's frustration becomes more evident.]


Ms. Smith: Fine, if you're not going to participate, then I can't force you. But know that your lack of engagement is not only affecting your learning but also disrupting the class for others. It's disappointing, Alex.


[The class continues with subdued energy, and Ms. Smith can't shake off her exasperation. She makes a mental note to address Alex's lack of participation with him privately after class.]







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