Contact high recorded every time area homeowner dawns stretchy slippery Under Armor tee

Okay, so picture this: you're just chilling in your suburban hood, minding your own business, when suddenly, bam! You get hit with a contact high. But get this – it's not from some sketchy smoke-filled room; it's from your neighbor rocking a stretchy, slippery Under Armor tee.

Yeah, you heard that right. It's like, every time this one homeowner decides to sport their UA gear, the whole block gets a buzz. It's the talk of the town, man.

Now, I know what you're thinking – how the heck does a piece of workout clothing get you high? Is it laced with something? Or maybe it's just so comfy that it sends your mind to another dimension. Who knows?

But hey, the locals are digging it. It's like a bonus perk of living in the 'burbs – free highs with every neighborhood jogger. Who needs a dispensary when you've got a dude in stretchy Under Armor, am I right?

Scientists are scratching their heads, trying to figure out what's going on. They're throwing around theories like it's a game of catch, but nobody's got any solid answers yet. Guess we'll just have to keep vibing and see where this wild ride takes us.

In the meantime, if you're strolling through the 'hood and catch a whiff of that stretchy Under Armor magic, take a deep breath and enjoy the ride. Who knows, maybe it'll become the latest trend in athleisure – high-performance gear for a high state of mind.

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FURTHERMOREOVERKILL

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G Papa Tango, could you just amass a short article's worth of random words?

Jumble of Words

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